Experiences and challenges of girls with a history of cohabitation

Background  The process of modernization and globalization and changes in the value system have gradually given rise to new and unusual patterns of relationships among some Iranian youth. One of the most extreme forms of premarital relationships is the emergence of cohabitation patterns. A model of a relationship that has deep Western roots, stemming from social and economic developments, especially the sexual revolution, and the weakening of the philosophical foundations of marriage in the West. In our country, little research has been done on this issue as it is inconsistent with societychr('39')s norms and values. This study seeks to deeply understand the experiences and challenges of girls with a history of cohabitation and provide practical solutions in this area.   Methods  The method of the study is phenomenological and based on purposive sampling method and theoretical saturation criterion, 16 girls with a history of cohabitation participated in this study. Semi structured interviews were used for data collection, and analysis of data was done using the thematic method. The trustworthiness of this study was evaluated by the method of long-term engagement with the data and time spent collecting and analyzing it, reviewing the participants, and reviewing the data from experts have been used. At the beginning of the interview the participants were explained about the purpose of the research, the method of interviewing, the anonymity and confidentiality of the information, the voluntary participation in the study and the right to withdraw from the research. Participants were also allowed to record interviews prior to the interview. Raw data was only available to the research team.   Results The analysis of the information obtained from the interviews revealed eight main categories: The field of gender balance In todaychr('39')s Iranian society, where modernity has penetrated rapidly into all aspects of peoplechr('39')s lives, girls are more conscious of seeking decision-making power and equal rights with men and of freeing themselves from social constraints. The sense of gender equality in social roles within and outside the home, as well as a greater sense of independence and freedom of action are among the subcategories of gender equality. Feeling rejected and isolated Exclusion occurs when an individual or group of individuals in a community or family do not act in accordance with values ​​and norms and generally in a dominant culture and create a new culture and behavior style. The experience of rejection is described in the form of two sub-themes of rejection by society, friends and neighbors, and rejection by family and relatives. Fear of disclosing the relationship Fear of commuting in public environments, fear of disclosure of life and legal risks is one of the main concerns of these people and they face many problems in this regard. This category is seen in two subcategories of fear of social and informal encounters and formal and legal encounters.   Experience high-risk behaviors In cohabitation, individuals are separated from their surroundings because of being excluded, leading to more isolation and distance from society. The lack of a healthy relationship and mutual trust between individuals and their environments leads to the formation of hidden groups and consequently deviant behaviors. Participantschr('39') experiences show that they are mostly involved in tobacco and drug use, and some of them have been involved in numerous and unusual relationships. Experience of violence Violent behavior that endangers onechr('39')s mental health can be a sign of psychological violence. Behaviors such as doubting, threatening, coercing, humiliating, ridiculing, slamming and blaming the other can be examples of acts of violence that undermine onechr('39')s mental and emotional health. Some participants have also experienced physical and psychological violence. Negative attitude to marriage The negative burden of divorce and the labels that people get after a divorce have led to a negative attitude toward marriage. The luxury and high cost of weddings and the limitations that marriage brings to young people, especially women, and their independence and freedom have made marriage a means for further restrictions. Lack of feeling secure in the relationship and worrying about pregnancy Because getting out of this kind of relationship is not subject to social rules and requirements, and on the other hand, the lack of a sense of security and fear of pregnancy was one of the concerns of most of the participants because of the contradiction of this lifestyle with the values ​​and laws of society. Changing attitudes to virginity and gender roles One of the most fundamental changes that transcend cultural change is the shift in attitudes toward gender roles. One of the major issues that emerged from the experiences of the participants is the changing attitudes towards gender roles and virginity.   Conclusion Women and girls are seeking gender equality in the individual, economic and social fields by choosing this style of life. These findings are consistent with the theory of demographic transition, whereby menchr('39')s authority over womenchr('39')s power is reduced. This theory points to the changing role of women from fertility and housekeeping to independence and the right to freedom in society, and attributes these changes to globalization and modernity. Using Inglehartchr('39')s theory, we can explain the changing values ​​of society in relation to womenchr('39')s roles over the previous decades. According to this theory, the values ​​of society change under the influence of the economic, social and political structures of society and material values ​​are replaced by immaterial values.  In recent decades, womenchr('39')s attitudes toward their roles have changed and they demand equal rights and they have been demanding equal rights in different arenas and freeing themselves from traditional bonds. Attitudes such as owning the body, the right to independence, the freedom to act and to participate fully with men in community activities are among the changes that came from participantschr('39') experiences. People in this lifestyle lose their relationships with friends, coworkers, family, and neighbors because of the labels and exclusion that follow, leading to isolation. Cohabitation as an emerging phenomenon in metropolitan areas, due to its inconsistency with community values, has negative consequences, such as a decline in social capital and social isolation for those involved. According to social capital theory, human beings need to interact with society and gain social support and affirmations. In this way of life, because of negative labeling and social exclusion, individuals face reduced social capital and isolation and are psychologically and socially harmed.